Unsteady
by wayiiseewriting
Summary: A moment after the season three finale.


**This is set after the season three's finales. I just have a lot of feelings after all the season finales of the Chicago.**

 **This is a small story but just something I had in my head. Enjoy?**

\- Unsteady -

Her hands are shaking once she arrives at Jay Halstead's apartment. She knows it's late and she should of brought her key along, but she couldn't think straight. She needed a hug. She needed comfort. She needed to be by someone who loved her right now and Hank Voight, her father in all the right way, was not an option.

She sighs, almost turning away before the door to the apartment opens. "You aren't pizza." Jay is wearing sweatpants, a wife beater and holding his wallet in his hands.

Erin shakes her head. "I'm not pizza." Her voice breaks as she is trying to keep it together. "Can I come in?"

He opens the door behind him. "Of course." He watches the women, he considers, the love of his life walk in his apartment. She slips her shoes off, putting them by his. Then she hangs her jacket. "You have sweats in my bedroom from the last time you were here."

She nods, heading to the bedroom without any words. Jay watches then cleans up his living room a little. He grabs two glasses, filling them with ice and grabbing the best of bottle of booze he has in the house, 1800 Silver Tequila. He pours a couple of ounces in two glasses, grabs the pizza when the doorbell rings and then sits on the couch waiting for Erin.

Erin comes in, staring at the room ahead of her now dressed in black jogger pants and a bright neon yellow tank top. She moves slowly to the couch, inches away from Jay and lays her head on his shoulder. Jay slips his hand on her thigh, tracing a small circle in her clothing. "I'm so sorry about Justin." He begins to say. "I'm gonna ask you a stupid question. How are you doing?"

"I miss him. He was my brother." Her voice was quiet. Jay could tell from the rough of sound of her voice, that she was crying. "I don't know how to feel. I can't be weak, Hank is going to need me. He lost his son, his wife. Olive is going to take off with his grandson."

Jay is careful to think about his words before he speaks. "I know you are worried about Voight…" He can't bring himself to say his bosses first name. "But you deserve to take care of yourself. You lost your family too. You lost your brother. You /deserve/ to grieve."

"I know." Her eyes swell up, her arm moving to squeeze his arms. "I need a drink. I need a distract. A comfort. I need someone just to love me today."

"Well, I got Tequila." He points to two glasses. "Pizza. Bad 80 movies and two arms." He knows he sounds cheesy but it makes her smile. He leans forward, grabbing the two cups. "Bottoms up?"

"Bottoms up."She says, drinking the alcohol down quickly.

\- Unsteady -

It's an hour later, when Jay trades his drinks from Tequila to water. He watches Erin stroll from the bathroom and back to the couch. He gives a small smile. "How you feeling?"

"Unsteady."

He laughs at her word. "Unsteady?" He questions. Jay has noticed that when Erin is a little drunk, she gets talkative. She just lets go and Jay loves it. He loves seeing a side of Erin, many doesn't get to see.

"I feel unsteady!" She says. She grabs the bottle of Tequila, offering to pour another drink for Jay before taking the bottle to her mouth and drinking out of the bottle. She drops, the now half empty bottle, closed on the couch. "Everything in my life is unsteady. Once I get a grip, once I feel happy, everything comes undone. I was okay. I was just getting okay with Nadia's death and now, now…"

Jay bites his lip, moving closer to Erin as she starts to sob. She lays her head against his shoulder, feeling his skin against hers.

"I was okay, Jay. I wasn't really struggling anymore. Bunny isn't around, Justin and Hank were both happy, you and I were okay. Then...then Justin died. My brother is dead...and this isn't fair."

Jay holds her tighter as she sobs. He has a hand on her the back of her head, then one hand on her lower back. He closes, listening to the sobs.

He thinks for a moment, that he feels proud of his best friend. Erin would of not asked for help because a year ago.

"Hey...hey." He says in an almost whisper. "It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. I will be here for you. Every step of the way. But you will be okay…"

Her sobs start to quiet down. She wipes her eyes with her eyes, before looking up to Jay. "Thank you…" She murmurs. "I hope it's okay that I came here."

"You are always welcome here." He states. "No matter, I will always be here."

She gives a soft smile as another thank you before laying her head back down on his shoulder. "Do you think the pain will ever stop? Do you think I will ever feel true happiness?"

Jay nods. "Yeah. One day."


End file.
